How to talk to your toxic parents
By: Matt Kiel, Ars Technicom EditorOne of the most effective ways to address a toxic parent is to tell them how they can do better.
And that’s exactly what a growing number of parents have done.
The most common method is to speak to your child directly.
This can be a hard sell, since parents often want to make sure their child understands their feelings and needs.
But when parents don’t get their way, there’s a solution: you can get a toxic father to admit he’s wrong, or you can talk to him directly.
Toxic parents are a growing problem.
In 2014, an article published in the New England Journal of Medicine suggested that toxic parents could cause more harm than good, by harming their children.
In a review of more than 30 studies, the researchers found that children who were raised by a toxic mother were more likely to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and antisocial behavior.
In addition, children who experienced an abusive or neglectful father were also more likely than their peers to have ADHD and to be obese.
The researchers speculated that these findings could be due to a genetic predisposition to both problems.
In the case of toxic parents, this can be difficult to do because the father is not always willing to admit his mistake.
But, thanks to a growing body of research, scientists are beginning to understand that toxic parenting can also be a coping mechanism for some parents.
“It’s a good way to avoid getting into a fight with your child, and it can also help your child to learn to control their emotions,” said Michael D. Mielke, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Texas, Austin.
“If you can show your child that they’re being wrong, they’re not going to fight with you.”
So how do you do it?
Asking your child a question like “Are you the toxic parent?” can help you avoid a fight, but it’s also a great way to show them that you want to learn from their mistakes.
“Kids will start to learn more about the other side,” said D. Scott Taylor, a child development expert at the Center for the Study of Trauma and Violence at the Ohio State University.
“We’ve seen that in studies that have been done, children do more to learn the other parent’s side if they see a parent being a bad parent.”
To show that you care about your child’s well-being, it’s important to ask them what they would like you to do for them.
“Your primary goal is to make your child feel comfortable and secure, and the only way you can do that is to be there for them,” said Mielkes.
“There’s no such thing as a perfect parenting style, but you need to find a way to be that way.”
“If you are a parent who is trying to get better, then it’s very easy to fall into a trap and become the victim,” said Taylor.
“I’d rather have my child be a victim and not a parent, and I would rather have them not get in trouble with the law.”
It’s also important to make clear to your kids that they can be wrong.
“This isn’t a time to be trying to prove anything, or try to change your kids’ behavior, but rather just make sure they understand that they need to be in control of their behavior,” said Fanny Schmitz, an associate professor of child development at the Institute for Research on Children and Families at Duke University.
You need to talk about your mistakes, and make it clear to them that it’s OK to disagree with your parenting style.
It’s important that your children understand that, too, but sometimes the best way to do this is to offer them a second chance.
“Talk to your children about what’s happened and what you can learn from it,” said Schmits.
“Tell them that if things don’t change, you’re not the only one who will feel bad about it.
Let them know that you’re willing to learn and that you can’t change everything at once.”
You can also ask your children to tell you what they’re learning about you, and then show you their work.
“A lot of parents talk to their children, but if they don’t, it creates a sense of trust,” said Scott Taylor.
If you’re talking to your son, he may want to talk with you about how he feels about your decisions, or what you have to say about his parents.
If your child is talking to his parents, they may want you to ask what you learned about them from them, and what they did to make him feel better about things.
“They may want the answer to be something like, ‘I love you, Mom, Dad, and everyone else, and if anything happens, I’ll be okay,'” said Taylor, adding that you might want to ask your child what you think the worst thing is